Dear readers, do you know the story of the wise man?
He was a man who used to live up in a mountain. The wise man noticed that the people who visited him always talked about the same problem. To handle this situation, on a day when a lot of people went to visit him, he decided to do something different and see whether he could make them perceive their situation.
The wise man decided to tell them a joke, making everybody laugh loudly. When they all went quiet again, the wise man told the same joke one more time and just a few of them laughed at it again. The wise man kept doing so until nobody laughed, at last.
People around him did not know how to react, and that was when the wise man said:
«You cannot laugh time and time again at the same joke; so why do you cry time and time again at the same problem?»
The odd thing about this story is that something similar happens to all of us. When a problem persists, it comes up again and we are tangled up in it once more. Do you agree with me? Well, in fact one of the universal laws is «What you resist, will persist».
If just like me, you get stuck in the same situation, I suggest you do the following exercise:
UNDESIRABLE | DESIRABLE
Now, in the column of UNDESIRABLE situations, describe the situations you find yourself in and that you would like to change, and ask yourself what follows:
• Is this situation giving me pleasure or pain?
• What are my usual thoughts in this situation?
• Are these thoughts focused on the problem or the solution?
• How do I feel when I’m in this situation?
• What’s the result I get from this situation?
Then move to the column of the DESIRABLE situations and ask yourself what follows:
• If I got that result, would it give me pleasure or pain?
• How do I have to think to get that?
• Write down 3 or more possible solutions to the problem.
• If I start thinking this way… how will I feel?
• What’s the result I am going to get?
As you can see, this is a very powerful technique and it can be used in many ways. The key is that we have to use it. I mean, we have to sit and reflect on the problem we talk about time and time again, we have to be able to analyse it honestly and fearlessly. It is the only way we can face it and solve it, through those actions and emotions that will give us what we look for, instead of what we don’t want.
If you wish to know more about this and other topics on personal development, I suggest you read my book «Una Cita Contigo», already available in all the libraries in Fuerteventura and in digital copy on my website www.trans-coaching.com. Love, Elena.